Fun fact: I enjoy making up words. How? Just combine words, and you might just hit the jackpot.
With that out of the way, I must admit that I am a cryophobe (I don't like low temps). If the ambient temperature is low enough to cause me goosebumps, albeit everyone else is sweating, we might have a little problem. This is especially true for the person responsible for opening a window, especially without a warning.
One day, on a chilly spring morning, someone opened the class window.
My friend, next to me, got excited. She was relieved that someone finally thought of ventilation. I mean, hypoxia is real. I think she is a cryophile (she likes low temps). She was at peace.... I wasn't. No warning? Everyone knows to tell me they are opening the window. Mental prep is cool.
I muttered: really?
She said : oh yes, really. Just go back and wait in the corridor.
I didn't want to do that. I just came from there.
I gave her a look.
She gave me a look back. Smiled and said: I love you too.
I melted. Okay, not me but my heart. I just melted. We bursted out laughing.
It was a great experience. It was a moment of aha.
I then thought, what if we always did the same thing for the conflicts we encountered daily?
This was not a conflict but what if we applied the same principle of keeping your cool in any conflict.
What if, just because you are conflicting, you didn't have to respond with the idea of conflict at the centre if your conflict?
What if you maintained your cool?
What if you walked away, without reacting but actually with the intention to think about how to respond?
What if the the yelling, and the calling names didn't have to happen?
What if we could de-escalate it all instead of fuelling it?
My advice (unsolicited) : when someone says something to you that you don't appreciate, and you have a chance to talk to them about it, ask them this: what made you say that? What makes you say that?
Or you could say: I am going to let you think about what you just said.
When you calm down, talk it over.
And the greatest thing that could ever happen in the world of interactions on so many levels with so many people from different backgrounds and cultures, it would help a long way, if we had an idea of where they are coming from (as in the basis of their point of view).
Till next time.
So long ❤️❤️
