What an Irony!

The greatest irony is this: expecting results for the work you didn't put in. Put in the work, the results show. Pick any area - relationships, health and fitness, academia, spiritual, financial, you name it. When you allow yourself to defy your inherent desire for comfortable and easy, you eventually sweat and grind until you almost pass out. At this point, you are made or marred. Three things happen at this stage: one, you either continue with the same intensity unbothered by the apparent or seeming alienation; or two, you get comfortable with what you have achieved, get comfortable with that amount of pain and sweat and make it your norm, without thinking of what could happen if you went further than this or that. In other words, you get complacent; or three, you get scared and throw in the towel.
At one point or another, you will come to the bloody crossroads, and choose something. You may preserve your blood and sweat, but that is too easy. You may choose the daily grind, and that is hard. Well-meaning people, in your personal circle also known and friends and family, will do their best to stifle your dreams and goals, especially if they feel left behind. It is a tough one because you will have to consider so many things. At the very best, if you stay where they want you to stay, will you become the best that you can be? Will you be able to take them along with you, if you stay there?




How useful can you be if you don't deny your pleasures for today, risk one form or another of alienation, just to become exceptional and useful and valuable?

It is ironic the expectations without a conducive internal environment. An African proverb goes: If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside cannot harm us. Ergo, considering that, it is ironic when your focus is solely on those around you with zero introspection.
Heal yourself first. Develop yourself first. Put in the work first. The results will be loud and clear. You won't have to say anything. You just have to do something.

XOXO,
JustEmmy

#NoteToSelf

Blessing in Disguise

By definition, a blessing in disguise is an apparent misfortune that yields good results in the end. 

2020 is a blessing in disguise. 

We have the greatest test on our hands. 

We have the greatest destruction at our doorsteps. 

We have the greatest misinformation neither our ears have ever heard nor our eyes ever seen. 

Amid this quagmire,something else is happening despite the devastation waged by Rona. 

Things that seemed impossible, are suddenly becoming feasible.

Suddenly what we thought was more important, and without it we couldn't survive, is being challenged day in and day out. We are practically forced to reconsider our priorities, to analyse our lives and identify what really matters, what really is worth fighting for. 

We are on the default survival mode. 

Can we say that the progress  we have made as individuals, institutions, and nations will outlive the pandemic? I really hope so, and even do better.

Can we say that we would continue to consider the bigger picture as we make decisions and plans at every level and in whatever capacity we are making them?

Another awesome feat in this 2020 is the universal spiritual awakening that is taking place. It is so beautiful to watch the humans rising up, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, taking advantage of the situation to get to place they have never been; to become what they never thought they could become. To become what they have never been. 

When we are finally spiraling out of control in our own efforts, then God takes control. we just have to believe and be ready, because our salvation is near.

One thing to hold on to is that God is faithful. 

Consider this: 

Romans 8:35-39..... 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Till later,
JustEmmy

Upside Down

The year is 2020.

The world is on lock-down.

People are dying worldwide.

Heroes in masks and some without are on the front-line, fighting, for what we hope is not a losing battle but a chance at life. Another chance to take a breath of life.

People are working from home, but not everyone.

Some people are anxiously waiting for the lock-down to be lifted because their lack would also then be potentially lifted. This is because they have lost their livelihood. They lived from hand to mouth, sometimes going days without, but still going on because they know that they would find again once they went out.

But not today.

Today they cannot go out because the law does not permit them to.

There are some who enjoyed the company of others just because; to share a drink or two and for a moment forget about their cares.

But not today.

As for the students in the various institutions, at different levels, it was a needed break when the order came to close the doors on education. In my part of the world, that is the end of education for the season for some, because there is no infrastructure or arrangement to study from home. The students would work on computers from school. But that is a luxury their humble abodes wouldn’t afford them outside of those gates. Some students would use their aunties’ and uncles’ smartphones or tablets to get wind of the outside world. Forget about internet access. It is a rare luxury too.

But not today. Today, the majority are in a village somewhere or a shack somewhere, without running water.

Without electricity.

Without food.

Without sanitation.

Either way, someone who is unaware would propose to initiate e-learning. How?

On the other hand, another one would propose to suspend it altogether because unfair advantage is a thing and it really does exist.

The world has fallen.

 The governments are at their wits’ end.

 The conspirators are up in arms.

The evil contenders are having a field day.

Misinformation is the order of the day.

Misconstrued truths cannot be repaired.  The damage is so great. Should a knight in shining armor arise from somewhere, there will be a great deal of repair to be done. The question is some damage will never be undone. Some things will never be unheard. Some horrors cannot be unseen.

What is it then? Perhaps the Savior will have to appeal to the polluted minds with a new narrative, without a hint of malice or guile in disguise.

Then maybe, there is hope.

For the believer, this is a time they have never seen before and possibly never imagined. They would gather in places of worship without a care in the world.

Not today.

Today, they are the greatest threat the ruler of this world has ever known.

Today the church is awake and alive. Today the church is awakening and coming alive.

Today the sons and daughters of the Most High are calling on the name of God more than ever before.

 The songs of praise and worship are going out from all corners of the world, with some captured on digital devices, and most just captured by the angels.

With every institution on its knees, it is becoming clear that Corona is thought to be ruling as the name implies.

Oh no sorry! You have another thing coming.

When all hope seems to be lost, when all hell seems to break loose, when the tabloids are seemingly red, something else more than it meets the eye is happening.

The church is rising up in every corner around the world, because church, is not a building. The doors to the buildings are locked, but the church is very much out there. Every house is either a church or a potential one. The devil thought he won… it may seem like he is winning when we analyse this situation with the human eye, but no! He is losing. He has lost.

At the end of this life, what matters is the final destination of the soul.

This is a season that is seemingly rowdy and a year that is blatantly upside down.
It is no cause for concern but rather to consider the grand scheme of things. The earth and all its troubles and fun times is just for a moment, but something else is forever when your soul leaves the earth, and that is eternity. Eternity is forever.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

When the church is aware of this, then you just know, and are confident that, even with this Corona, even in 2020, God still has the whole world in His hands.

Today, continue to share the love.

Continue to pray.

Continue to keep the faith, that whether it is in this life or the next, God is all you ever needed, and will ever need.

Everything else is a bonus, as some would say, a blessing.

The Flaker

Dear Flakers, 

Have you ever heard of the word accountability? Have you ever heard of the word benefit of the doubt? Have you ever heard of the words “keep your word?” I have a problem with you people. First of all, you make the rest of the world seem like they are not that in tune with chaos. Guys, you talk way too much, way too fast, and way too soon. The deal is you say things nobody wants or needs you to say. You may have imposed, on yourselves, a Herculean task of initiative based dead societal expectations. Trust me (or maybe not), you don’t have to be a hero. It is okay not to be. It is okay not to promise that you would meet up, or call, or text, or go out with a person sometime. Society has moved on from plastic pleasantries. If you aren’t game, don’t pretend you are pumped up. Personally, I don’t care.

Do you have any idea what that does to the me? I believe you (benefit of the doubt), shift my plans to accommodate you, postpone that hour of nothingness, just to “accommodate” your visitation or interruption rather.  
But, what do you do? You don’t say anything about your change of heart. You don’t give me a heads up about your failed attempt at heroism. What do I make of that? How do I move on from there? I make a list of “Do Not Trust Anything They Say” and then move on. I forget about you, but you keep coming back with the same story. I overdose on benefit of the doubt, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you were really tied up. Hoping that maybe you really just forgot… that you really just forgot to get back to me, because life happened. I believe you. I will keep on believing you. But I won’t always entertain you. I will not keep entertaining you. 

Why don’t you learn from me, the professional heart-breaker? I think once upon a time I was a flaker. I would freak out and tell the person, last minute…. That was just as bad a flaking. In most cases, I genuinely had reasons why I couldn’t. But when I started walking in the shoes of my victims, I changed my ways. To avoid disappointing and having to rain check (trust me, I had so many I lost count), I stopped giving false hope. If I know that it wouldn’t happen anytime soon, I say so. If I am not just game, because I would rather sleep or watch my movies or read my novels or hangout with nothingness, I would say so (in a cryptic manner, more or less). Sometimes I am not very proud of my modus operandi, but then again, I am not big on wasting time.

In closing, I hope you get my message. I don’t want you to be like me. I am not perfect. I want you to develop something inside of you that makes you think twice before you implement your frivolous and plastic approach to people. I hope that you would learn to curb your excitement, and think long and hard, before you open your mouth to say something that means nothing; I hope you will get to say things you mean and mean things you say. You don’t have to be a hero. Just be human, be you without leaving casualties in your wake.

I have to stop here now. I will wait on my muse for the next inspirational burst.
in the meantime, So long!!

XOXO,
JustEmmy

Small Wins

Let us talk about winning today.

The moment you wake up, you have either won or lost time. If you had an alarm set yet you snoozed, you lost. If you beat your alarm, you have won. Some people call it the battle of the bed. I am not perfect, but I am getting there.

This entry was inspired by something I was going through. I can procrastinate – almost to a chronic level. I can practice self-discipline - almost to a fault, and I can drop my plans in a heartbeat – almost to quitting.

I saw these destructive patterns that I had killed sometimes ago coming back to life. I called a meeting with myself because we couldn’t continue this way. It is not funny; it is not encouraging and certainly not attractive. I felt like a betrayer. In fact, I was. I betrayed myself. It was so easy to help people come out of their ruts, but I was too deep in mine. I sincerely hoped that one day, I would get out, when the conditions became just about right, or when I finally completed A and B. It was a hard place to be mentally. I swear I was thrown to the deep end and panic always had me on the brink of drowning. I knew then that I had to do something about it.

As a child of God, prayer is your lifeline. However, the mistake we do, which I sometimes do as well, is to ask God for things and not prepare for them. Sadly, because we aren’t prepared, we might not even recognize them right under our noses. Sometimes, we cancel our prayer with confessions of our mouths, by confessing the negativity we feel, the fear we are experiencing and the uncertainty we are faced with, instead of maintaining the confession that all things work out for our good no matter how bleak they look, that the Lord is our shepherd and we shall not want and the He is our light and salvation, whom shall we fear (though we feel it), and that the Lord will direct our paths, if we trust in Him.

Before I get carried away, let me get back to the gist of this post – Small Wins.

We have goals and dreams bigger than this universe and we are excited to talk about them, and less than thrilled to work on attaining them because we are too busy comparing ourselves, too busy watching people live their lives, and too busy judging their choices, as if we are the appointed jurors. Personally, I knew about the small decisions, the small wins, what I had to do, and the golden expression: keep coming. That is fantastic, isn’t it? Of course, it is. However, there is always a price to pay. Every activity we engage in or refrain from, involves a transaction of some sort, with a price to pay. Yes, even free things have prices. Sometimes we think certain things are free and as a result, we don’t analyze them and then we pay more than we were willing to spent and stay longer than we anticipated. So, here I am, head full of knowledge and little into practice.

I was about to quit something for the umpteenth time - I have done that in my life a lot. Then it hit me. I just don’t give up on certain things. I quit when certain things get too hard or too boring. In this case, I was bored with a 30-day challenge. I was bored out of my mind. Before I started it, I told myself that given my track record which I am fully aware of, I must finish these 30 days. And I somehow knew that it was going to take more than 30 days. But I knew as well that I had to complete it. Lo and behold, 15 days into the challenge I was bored out of my mind. I had to change my confession about the challenge, I had to think of ways to make it creative, I had to create systems of reward – just because, and I had to take it all the way to day 30. I did. I lost track of how long I took, but I watched the calendar fill with color as I marked of the completed tasks. This was a big deal for me. I learned that I am capable of finishing and staying with tasks as much as I am capable of jumping ship at the first sign of boredom and trouble.

I chose to stay and here is what I learnt:

Have a little pride, no, have enough pride and an ego large enough, so you don’t let yourself down. We are not going for conceit here. We are simply saying that you should have a reasonable or justifiable self-respect; your sense of importance and self-esteem, just enough not to give up on yourself.

 Set targets and go through with them, no matter how bored or tired you get along the way. The pride that you harnessed will help you to become creative to get through boredom.

Each time your reach a target, a surge of power is released. Leverage it to your benefit and to influence others. The more you keep your promises to yourself, the more you are likely to keep your promises to others. If you are sincere and not just keeping up appearances, there is no way you can do things for people that you can’t do for yourself. Charity begins at home they say. Even the apostle Peter ( Acts 3:6) said …“I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you………..”, meaning that you cannot give what you don’t have. As you give, be sure to fill up so that you can give more. I don’t know what you give. But you get the picture, don’t you?

Your choices and decisions are your responsibility. No one is coming to bear the responsibility for you. No one is coming to clean up your messes. No one is coming to make decisions for you. No one is coming to tell you whether you should wake up or not, whether you should walk away or stay, whether you should workout or not… whatever it is that you know you have to do or to get around to, no one is coming to make you do it. The only thing that another person can do for you is to show you the way, help you find your light; but walking the mile, that is on you. The onus is on you to do the walking. So yes, your choices, your responsibility. You will eventually have to shun excuses and take responsibility for your actions – both the absence and presence thereof.

Excuses you make for not doing, becoming, or achieving anything, become your safety zone. The problem with this false safety is that it is not safe at all. Not even as a joke. In a matter of time, the safety comes off. Reality strikes. Regret sets in. Anger comes along. Retaliation becomes the order of the day, but it is misguided.

Healthy habits to manage emotions and healthy interactions with other people are both learnt and acquired. Make it your mission to develop your emotional intelligence. It is a conscious effort. Just because you ‘know the truth or the story’, is it your truth or story to tell? Just because you can, is it yours to do yet? Just because you have been there, is it your place to lord it over the others?

Develop healthy ways to deal with stress or it will deal with you.

Be proactive in your relationships. They don’t grow or mature themselves. They are like a everything else that needs to be nurtured. Deprive them long enough and you will realize that you no longer have chemistry together but history.

Another person is not responsible for your feelings or actions. How you act towards or how you react to people or things is not reflective of the person’s attitude or the external atmosphere. It is reflective of you and your insides and your way of thinking. They are responsible for their own internal situation as you are for yours.

This was a long one. I hope it is not mumbo jumbo.

Share and leave your comments. Highly appreciated.

Till then,

Emmy