Let us talk
about winning today.
The moment
you wake up, you have either won or lost time. If you had an alarm set yet you
snoozed, you lost. If you beat your alarm, you have won. Some people call it
the battle of the bed. I am not perfect, but I am getting there.
This entry
was inspired by something I was going through. I can procrastinate – almost to
a chronic level. I can practice self-discipline - almost to a fault, and I can
drop my plans in a heartbeat – almost to quitting.
I saw these
destructive patterns that I had killed sometimes ago coming back to life. I
called a meeting with myself because we couldn’t continue this way. It is not funny;
it is not encouraging and certainly not attractive. I felt like a betrayer. In
fact, I was. I betrayed myself. It was so easy to help people come out of their
ruts, but I was too deep in mine. I sincerely hoped that one day, I would get
out, when the conditions became just about right, or when I finally completed A
and B. It was a hard place to be mentally. I swear I was thrown to the deep end
and panic always had me on the brink of drowning. I knew then that I had to do
something about it.
As a child
of God, prayer is your lifeline. However, the mistake we do, which I sometimes
do as well, is to ask God for things and not prepare for them. Sadly, because
we aren’t prepared, we might not even recognize them right under our noses.
Sometimes, we cancel our prayer with confessions of our mouths, by confessing
the negativity we feel, the fear we are experiencing and the uncertainty we are
faced with, instead of maintaining the confession that all things work out for
our good no matter how bleak they look, that the Lord is our shepherd and we
shall not want and the He is our light and salvation, whom shall we fear (though
we feel it), and that the Lord will direct our paths, if we trust in Him.
Before I
get carried away, let me get back to the gist of this post – Small Wins.
We have
goals and dreams bigger than this universe and we are excited to talk about
them, and less than thrilled to work on attaining them because we are too busy
comparing ourselves, too busy watching people live their lives, and too busy
judging their choices, as if we are the appointed jurors. Personally, I knew
about the small decisions, the small wins, what I had to do, and the golden
expression: keep coming. That is fantastic, isn’t it? Of course, it is.
However, there is always a price to pay. Every activity we engage in or refrain
from, involves a transaction of some sort, with a price to pay. Yes, even free
things have prices. Sometimes we think certain things are free and as a result,
we don’t analyze them and then we pay more than we were willing to spent and
stay longer than we anticipated. So, here I am, head full of knowledge and
little into practice.
I was about
to quit something for the umpteenth time - I have done that in my life a lot.
Then it hit me. I just don’t give up on certain things. I quit when certain
things get too hard or too boring. In this case, I was bored with a 30-day challenge.
I was bored out of my mind. Before I started it, I told myself that given my
track record which I am fully aware of, I must finish these 30 days. And I
somehow knew that it was going to take more than 30 days. But I knew as well
that I had to complete it. Lo and behold, 15 days into the challenge I was
bored out of my mind. I had to change my confession about the challenge, I had
to think of ways to make it creative, I had to create systems of reward – just
because, and I had to take it all the way to day 30. I did. I lost track of how
long I took, but I watched the calendar fill with color as I marked of the
completed tasks. This was a big deal for me. I learned that I am capable of
finishing and staying with tasks as much as I am capable of jumping ship at the
first sign of boredom and trouble.
I chose to
stay and here is what I learnt:
Have a
little pride, no, have enough pride and an ego large enough, so you don’t let
yourself down. We are not going for conceit here. We are simply saying that you
should have a reasonable or justifiable self-respect; your sense of importance
and self-esteem, just enough not to give up on yourself.
Set targets and go through with them, no
matter how bored or tired you get along the way. The pride that you harnessed
will help you to become creative to get through boredom.
Each time
your reach a target, a surge of power is released. Leverage it to your benefit
and to influence others. The more you keep your promises to yourself, the more
you are likely to keep your promises to others. If you are sincere and not just
keeping up appearances, there is no way you can do things for people that you
can’t do for yourself. Charity begins at home they say. Even the apostle Peter
( Acts 3:6) said …“I have no silver and gold, but what
I do have I give to you………..”, meaning that you cannot give what you don’t
have. As you give, be sure to fill up so that you can give more. I don’t know
what you give. But you get the picture, don’t you?
Your choices
and decisions are your responsibility. No one is coming to bear the
responsibility for you. No one is coming to clean up your messes. No one is
coming to make decisions for you. No one is coming to tell you whether you
should wake up or not, whether you should walk away or stay, whether you should
workout or not… whatever it is that you know you have to do or to get around
to, no one is coming to make you do it. The only thing that another person can
do for you is to show you the way, help you find your light; but walking the
mile, that is on you. The onus is on you to do the walking. So yes, your
choices, your responsibility. You will eventually have to shun excuses and take
responsibility for your actions – both the absence and presence thereof.
Excuses you
make for not doing, becoming, or achieving anything, become your safety zone.
The problem with this false safety is that it is not safe at all. Not even as a
joke. In a matter of time, the safety comes off. Reality strikes. Regret sets
in. Anger comes along. Retaliation becomes the order of the day, but it is
misguided.
Healthy
habits to manage emotions and healthy interactions with other people are both
learnt and acquired. Make it your mission to develop your emotional
intelligence. It is a conscious effort. Just because you ‘know the truth or the
story’, is it your truth or story to tell? Just because you can, is it yours to
do yet? Just because you have been there, is it your place to lord it over the
others?
Develop
healthy ways to deal with stress or it will deal with you.
Be proactive
in your relationships. They don’t grow or mature themselves. They are like a
everything else that needs to be nurtured. Deprive them long enough and you
will realize that you no longer have chemistry together but history.
Another
person is not responsible for your feelings or actions. How you act towards or
how you react to people or things is not reflective of the person’s attitude or
the external atmosphere. It is reflective of you and your insides and your way
of thinking. They are responsible for their own internal situation as you are
for yours.
This was a
long one. I hope it is not mumbo jumbo.
Share and
leave your comments. Highly appreciated.
Till then,
Emmy
