Performance Evaluation

So you messed up or succeeded? Big deal.
Of course it is a big deal. It all goes to your rap sheet. Your track record, faithfully tallied by your unforgiving jury....your audience.
There are however a few things to keep in mind as you do the postmortem. You need to evaluate your performance, it does not matter in what area and work on them. That is the only way you grow, unless you want to do the same thing and expect different results, any other way,  It cannot happen. It never happened. You know what happens when doing the same thing over and over again? What happened last time you did.

So, a dear friend of mine told me these words after i told her how i blundered... We all make blunders... some of us more often than others.

She: More grace. That was powerful. Spoke right to me.
Me: Thank you.We thank God. I blundered. Big time.
She: Why did you blunder? Always remember that your last piece is always better than the last. Why did you blunder? Were you nervous? Work on it. Did you not prepare well enough? Prepare better  next time.God is a perfect God. As you grow in the talents he has given you, try to perfect them. Not for the audience, not for you, not for your consciousness, but for him.
Me: You are Godsend.

Now, with that having transpired, it's a challenge to both you and I.
Ask yourself, What is the one thing you do, all the time, that is sabotaging your success?
You talk to yourself more than you talk to other people, What do you tell yourself?
You are a performer. Your whole life is a result of your performances. Not in the sense of you being an entertainer, (before someone preaches to the choir), but in the sense that you undertake tasks, perform functions, and the works.  How do you like your work so far? Are you satisfied ? Did you blunder? Why did you blunder? The audience does not always know when you blundered, especially if it is a subtle blunder but you will live with the knowledge, the consciousness of  how much your audience is worth, how much you are capable of, and how much you have not been able to deliver, because you did not  evaluate your performance. You did not care enough. Think about it. What is your worth? Are you working on it or you are complacent?
Why did you blunder? Nervous? Work on it. Unprepared? Prepare better next time.
Stage fright never goes away. You just get better at handling it.

God Bless!

Tell me no Lies

People's attitudes do not lie but their mouths lie. 

Their intentions may be flawed but their actions do not lie. 

When you are a victim of lies, you played a part. 

You believed them, gave them  the benefit of the doubt and heaven-forbid you encouraged them. 

When you birth an idea, trait, character or behavior about someone in your head, you get hang on it and it becomes the filter through which you watch everything about them.

 The clarity of the world outside your window is as clean as your window through which you look. You will actually be  surprised to learn that the only clear window without debris is the word of God. But, this you will only notice when you look through it with careful study, and deliberate intent to decipher artifacts from real spots. 

We ought to love, and believe in our fellow humans. 

We ought to trust them, treading with caution, but it gets a little fuzzy where to draw the line. 

When it's blurred, do not lie. If anything, keep your integrity intact. 

You owe yourself that much.

Call a spade a spade and do not be afraid to hurt some feelings.

Feelings will always be hurt. Opinions will always vary, but whatever you do, try to keep your words, actions and intentions in one accord. 

You do not want to lie with your actions or words.

Do not allow yourself to be swayed otherwise. 

People tell you who they really are, so just believe them and do not make the mistake of excusing them for anything, just because the revelation of who they are does not coincide with your ideal image of them. 

Love, trust, and nurture without losing yourself in the process.

God bless you.

 

How to handle baby adults 2

1. Never feed the troll. 

2. Don't negotiate with them. Keep it yes or no without middle ground.

3. Pray for yourself and pray for them too. 

4. Choose to love them and choose to be blinded to their idiosyncrasy.

5. Whatever you do, don't lose yourself.

Guilt

Guilt

By definition, guilt is that strong feeling that you get when you come to the realization of your wrong-doing-actual or imagined, and the sense of self-loathe for compromising your standards or acting like you employ every prowess you possess but your brain.

I am not sharing this with you because I know how to handle guilt or because I never feel guilty. Actually, I am guilt sensitive and sometimes I think that I actually exaggerate the guilt and sometimes even overreact.

I feel guilty when I oversleep. I feel guilty when I entertain thoughts of doing the opposite of what I know ought to do and the works.

I feel guilty when I lose an opportunity to extend acts of kindness in whatever form, especially when I have the capacity and ability to do so.

But, aren’t you leaving a life synonymous to guilt-trip-land? Quite the contrary no. I learned to stop feeling guilty over simple things that only become major enough to trigger the guilt emotion in you if and only if, someone made it their point to play the guilt card each time they see you. You have to learn how to say no without feeling guilty, and to say yes because you really want to say yes.

You have to learn how to develop baseline principles by which you will go as you interact with other humans and these will serve as the guilt-checkpoints.

When you feel guilty for violating your principles, it is important to forgive yourself, let go and learn a lesson. Let the guilt be a stepping stone, to remind you of the unpleasantness of an action-imagined or real, in the event of its occurrence.  Many a times, we allow our guilt to become a limitation. Instead of learning a lesson, we pass a death sentence upon ourselves. And whether you believe it or not. You are an unforgiving jury. Really, to think of it, it makes one wonder why you can’t forgive yourself, if God forgave you.

When you are loved and forgiven of God, you need to allow yourself to acknowledge and accept this offer of love unconditional and forgiveness.

Garbage in Garbage out: Lesson from the University of hard knocks

It has been a while since i posted anything. It is quite embarrassing, but i have been on a journey. A very long and lonely journey such that i didn't even know how much i could share as abstractly as possible without making it personal. 

So on my long, lonely and trying journey, i learned these few things; though i have always known them, they actually hit home now but some i learned anew.

1. You are never alone. It does not matter how alone or lonely you may feel, you are never alone because you have you and God is always with you. He may seem far but he is closer than you think.

2. When you cry, it does not mean you are weak or wrecked, but you cry simply because you are overwhelmed and tears are the only logical response to that situation at the moment and usually, after a good cry, your head clears.

3. Not everyone that smiles with you, at you or even applaude you is your friend. Friends understand the language of silence without explanations.

4. There will always be a special someone who knows the song of your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the lyrics.

5. You are stronger today than you were yesterday and it's your choice to use that stength or suppress it.

6. Activity does not equate productivity, but productivity is always a result of activity.

7. Sometimes you win. 

Sometimes you cry. 

Sometimes you are happy.

Sometimes you are sad. 

sometimes you are overwhelmed.

Sometimes you go in circles.

Sometimes you lose yourself.

Sometimes you doubt yourself.

Sometimes you question your values.

Sometimes you miss your mark and sometimes you try to give up BUT, you should always be happy.

You should always try again.

You should always find your mark.

You should always believe and whatever happens, you should never lose your faith and never give up hope.

8. Many will never understand your thought process and consequently misinterpret and judge you.

9. Some humans will judge you for your choices. For what you choose to eat because it's not complicated, for what you choose to wear beacuse it's comfortable; for what you choose to spend your time on because it adds value to your life.

10. Someone will always have buccal sepsis and contaminated expressions that you have to be careful about what you say, how you act and definitely what you concur with in their presence and making sure you disinfect your ears ASAP.

11. Never underestimate the power of prayer. If you can't handle it, let God.

12. The fear of the unknown does not get better. It increases, but you get better at handling it.

13. You, and only you are responsible for what you allow to ruin your day.

14. Watch what you feed your spirit, your body, your emotions and your intellect, it comes back to haunt you in the long run.

15. I still wonder if coincidences exist.

Rekindling Women coming soon

Happy New Year

Helloo Hellooo!
 I haven't been coming around for a while. Sorry about that. It's so not cool on my part. :(
Anyways, it's a new year. Your mind has probably been boggled with the weighted tradition of making resolutions, they work for the first week, then come feb, you are playing catch-up.

courtesy of Google images

 Sounds familiar? I relate. So 2016 is here. Full bloom, soon it will be  over and really the only question i have for this year is: Who do i want to be this year? I realized that if i defined to myself who i want to be this year, no resolution needed. Why? Because you will be inherently be transformed into who you want to be, and that will beat a list of do's and don'ts. You will inherently begin to act the way you see yourself. Actions speak louder than words. Only your actions really convey how genuine you are, how determined you are, how "resolved" you are....(chuckles).
Don't say much, Just get up and Do it...

God Bless You :)
Happy new year!