Small Wins

Let us talk about winning today.

The moment you wake up, you have either won or lost time. If you had an alarm set yet you snoozed, you lost. If you beat your alarm, you have won. Some people call it the battle of the bed. I am not perfect, but I am getting there.

This entry was inspired by something I was going through. I can procrastinate – almost to a chronic level. I can practice self-discipline - almost to a fault, and I can drop my plans in a heartbeat – almost to quitting.

I saw these destructive patterns that I had killed sometimes ago coming back to life. I called a meeting with myself because we couldn’t continue this way. It is not funny; it is not encouraging and certainly not attractive. I felt like a betrayer. In fact, I was. I betrayed myself. It was so easy to help people come out of their ruts, but I was too deep in mine. I sincerely hoped that one day, I would get out, when the conditions became just about right, or when I finally completed A and B. It was a hard place to be mentally. I swear I was thrown to the deep end and panic always had me on the brink of drowning. I knew then that I had to do something about it.

As a child of God, prayer is your lifeline. However, the mistake we do, which I sometimes do as well, is to ask God for things and not prepare for them. Sadly, because we aren’t prepared, we might not even recognize them right under our noses. Sometimes, we cancel our prayer with confessions of our mouths, by confessing the negativity we feel, the fear we are experiencing and the uncertainty we are faced with, instead of maintaining the confession that all things work out for our good no matter how bleak they look, that the Lord is our shepherd and we shall not want and the He is our light and salvation, whom shall we fear (though we feel it), and that the Lord will direct our paths, if we trust in Him.

Before I get carried away, let me get back to the gist of this post – Small Wins.

We have goals and dreams bigger than this universe and we are excited to talk about them, and less than thrilled to work on attaining them because we are too busy comparing ourselves, too busy watching people live their lives, and too busy judging their choices, as if we are the appointed jurors. Personally, I knew about the small decisions, the small wins, what I had to do, and the golden expression: keep coming. That is fantastic, isn’t it? Of course, it is. However, there is always a price to pay. Every activity we engage in or refrain from, involves a transaction of some sort, with a price to pay. Yes, even free things have prices. Sometimes we think certain things are free and as a result, we don’t analyze them and then we pay more than we were willing to spent and stay longer than we anticipated. So, here I am, head full of knowledge and little into practice.

I was about to quit something for the umpteenth time - I have done that in my life a lot. Then it hit me. I just don’t give up on certain things. I quit when certain things get too hard or too boring. In this case, I was bored with a 30-day challenge. I was bored out of my mind. Before I started it, I told myself that given my track record which I am fully aware of, I must finish these 30 days. And I somehow knew that it was going to take more than 30 days. But I knew as well that I had to complete it. Lo and behold, 15 days into the challenge I was bored out of my mind. I had to change my confession about the challenge, I had to think of ways to make it creative, I had to create systems of reward – just because, and I had to take it all the way to day 30. I did. I lost track of how long I took, but I watched the calendar fill with color as I marked of the completed tasks. This was a big deal for me. I learned that I am capable of finishing and staying with tasks as much as I am capable of jumping ship at the first sign of boredom and trouble.

I chose to stay and here is what I learnt:

Have a little pride, no, have enough pride and an ego large enough, so you don’t let yourself down. We are not going for conceit here. We are simply saying that you should have a reasonable or justifiable self-respect; your sense of importance and self-esteem, just enough not to give up on yourself.

 Set targets and go through with them, no matter how bored or tired you get along the way. The pride that you harnessed will help you to become creative to get through boredom.

Each time your reach a target, a surge of power is released. Leverage it to your benefit and to influence others. The more you keep your promises to yourself, the more you are likely to keep your promises to others. If you are sincere and not just keeping up appearances, there is no way you can do things for people that you can’t do for yourself. Charity begins at home they say. Even the apostle Peter ( Acts 3:6) said …“I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you………..”, meaning that you cannot give what you don’t have. As you give, be sure to fill up so that you can give more. I don’t know what you give. But you get the picture, don’t you?

Your choices and decisions are your responsibility. No one is coming to bear the responsibility for you. No one is coming to clean up your messes. No one is coming to make decisions for you. No one is coming to tell you whether you should wake up or not, whether you should walk away or stay, whether you should workout or not… whatever it is that you know you have to do or to get around to, no one is coming to make you do it. The only thing that another person can do for you is to show you the way, help you find your light; but walking the mile, that is on you. The onus is on you to do the walking. So yes, your choices, your responsibility. You will eventually have to shun excuses and take responsibility for your actions – both the absence and presence thereof.

Excuses you make for not doing, becoming, or achieving anything, become your safety zone. The problem with this false safety is that it is not safe at all. Not even as a joke. In a matter of time, the safety comes off. Reality strikes. Regret sets in. Anger comes along. Retaliation becomes the order of the day, but it is misguided.

Healthy habits to manage emotions and healthy interactions with other people are both learnt and acquired. Make it your mission to develop your emotional intelligence. It is a conscious effort. Just because you ‘know the truth or the story’, is it your truth or story to tell? Just because you can, is it yours to do yet? Just because you have been there, is it your place to lord it over the others?

Develop healthy ways to deal with stress or it will deal with you.

Be proactive in your relationships. They don’t grow or mature themselves. They are like a everything else that needs to be nurtured. Deprive them long enough and you will realize that you no longer have chemistry together but history.

Another person is not responsible for your feelings or actions. How you act towards or how you react to people or things is not reflective of the person’s attitude or the external atmosphere. It is reflective of you and your insides and your way of thinking. They are responsible for their own internal situation as you are for yours.

This was a long one. I hope it is not mumbo jumbo.

Share and leave your comments. Highly appreciated.

Till then,

Emmy